Aernout Zevenbergen · Counsellor in Nyon & Lausanne

English Counselling & Personal Growth

  • Counselling
    • Types of Counselling
      • Individual Counselling
      • Couples Counselling
      • Online Counselling
    • Themes in Counselling
      • Depression & Anxiety
      • Trauma
      • Being a Modern Man
      • Grief, Loss & Bereavement
      • Life Transitions
      • Love, Romance & Sexuality
      • Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity
      • Counselling for Humanitarians
      • Counseling for Expats
    • Wisdom for you
      • Videotherapy
      • Bibliotherapy
      • Web Resources
  • About Me
    • About Me
    • Testimonials
    • Practicalities
      • Session Rates
      • Counselling in Nyon or Lausanne
      • Schedule an Appointment
      • Search
    • My Approach
    • Inspiration
      • Narrative Approach
      • Archetypal Psychology
      • Existential Counselling
      • Spirituality & Counselling
    • Credentials & Licensing as Counsellor
  • Contact
    • Counselling in Nyon and Lausanne
      • Lausanne
      • Nyon
    • Call me
    • Send a Message
    • Schedule an Appointment
    • Subscribe to my Newsletter
  • Blogs
  • Nederlands

Of Barks, Textures & Transience

18 July 2021 By Aernout


I have a thing for textures. Textures you can come across in nature. Barks of trees, for example. Or the hull of a rusting ship. A cracked rock surface. An abandoned building.

Nothing says transience as well as well-weathered texture, out there in nature.

It’s not that I necessarily want things to pass in life. Like most others, I too love to hold on to what I have, what I know, what I hold dear. And loss is hard to process.

The loss of a job, of a loved-one, of a friendship, of a pet, or of home one has come to appreciate – it’s the bitter pill we all have to swallow, regularly and repeatedly.

Yet, there is a subtle but important difference between wanting things to pass, and appreciating that they do.

Panta rei – everything flows, nothing stays.

You cannot descend twice in the same river and you cannot touch a mortal substance in the same state twice, but because of the impetuosity and the speed of change it disperses and collects, comes and goes.
– Heraclitus

I, on my own, can’t fundamentally alter the outcome of events beyond my control. For change to occur, I need likeminded people. Those, for example, who are as horrified by climate change as I am. Or those, who like me, abhor racism and homophobia.

However, I can choose my response to those events. I, like every other person who so chooses, can participate in the complex web of interactions that make our reality.

Everything flows, nothing stays the same.

This author summarises is poignantly: “Heraclitus’ panta rei exalts the sense of matter and the cosmos which sees the elevation of becoming into arches, which represents the entity that governs the world, claiming that without change, nothing could have an existence, since becoming itself is the essence of the cosmos, around which the daily lives of each of us revolve.”

Every day I am becoming. And every new groove in my face, every ageing muscle in my body, every memory fading from immediate awareness is living proof of that becoming. Like the rust in a ships hull. Or the “silvery bark [that] flakes off in patches, revealing the green or ivory inner bark in a camouflage pattern” of the platanus tree we have in our garden.

The eternal comings and goings, of which I am but an insignificant bleep.

Somehow I find that quite soothing and calming.

My becoming is at the same time my unbecoming.

You might find these articles interesting, too...

  • Grief, Loss & Bereavement
    Grief, Loss & Bereavement
  • grieving over pet
    Grieving for A Pet
  • counselling for men
    Counselling for Men: Seeking Solutions
  • Life Transitions
    Life Transitions

Filed Under: Blogs Tagged With: Nature, Self-soothing

Previous Post: Books & Films for Men
Next Post: Counselling for Men: Exercising Emotional Fitness

Find me also here

Professional Affiliations

counsellor swisscounsellor nyon

Topics to Explore

Anxiety Assertiveness Authenticity Bereavement Boundaries Couples Counselling Death Depression Friendship General Counselling Grief Joy Loss Maturing Men Nature Personal Growth Pets Practical Relationships Self-soothing Shame Spirituality

Blog: Counselling & Psychology

  • Dropping the Mask: Vulnerability in Romance
  • The Breath: Our Silent Regulator
  • Establishing Boundaries in Relationship: Honouring Self Esteem and Assertiveness
  • Fighting Couples – Getting it Wrong: The Need to be Right
  • Shame’s Soapbox

Couples and Individual Counselling in Lausanne

Rue du Grand-Pont 18
6th floor,
Lausanne 1003
Phone: +41(0)787376590
© Aernout Zevenbergen · Counsellor | 2016 - 2023
Aernout Zevenbergen - Counsellor in Nyon and Lausanne

Copyright © 2023 · Parallax Pro Theme URI: http://my.studiopress.com/themes/parallax/ On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

Manage Cookie Consent
I use cookies on this site. Feel free to disable them if you prefer not to have these cookies.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}