There’s no shortage of ways to talk about relationships. Communication styles. Love languages. Conflict patterns. Childhood wounds. Most of it loops around the same cycle: theory-heavy, symptom-focused, soft-edged advice that barely grazes the surface. Meanwhile, the couples and individuals I meet aren’t looking for theories. They’re looking for change.
That’s where Relational Life Therapy (RLT) comes in. Developed by psychotherapist Terry Real, RLT doesn’t sugar-coat, sidestep, or waste time. It goes straight to the heart of what’s broken in a relationship — and what each person is doing to keep it that way. Not to shame, not to blame, but to interrupt the pattern and offer a way out. Fast.
In Switzerland, where the polished surface often hides emotional disconnection, RLT is a welcome jolt of honesty. It doesn’t pretend things will fix themselves if you just “improve your communication.” It doesn’t sit on the sidelines while a relationship quietly dies. Instead, it names the dynamic, calls out the behaviour, and offers tools — real ones — for repair.
This work isn’t neutral. It’s aligned.
RLT isn’t about staying above the fray, nodding sympathetically, and asking how that makes you feel. It’s about rolling up sleeves and getting into the dynamic. As a therapist, I don’t just listen — I intervene. If someone is being contemptuous, avoidant, controlling, or checked-out, I’ll say it. And I’ll say it in a way that lands. Because if you’re sitting in front of me, things have already gone far enough that you need someone to name what’s happening — and help you turn it around.
That’s what makes RLT different from most other models. It’s relational in the truest sense: it takes into account who you are, how you love, and where you get stuck — but it also holds you accountable. With clarity. With compassion. Without tiptoeing.
Relational skills can be learned. But first, the truth.
Most people don’t sabotage their relationships on purpose. They repeat what they saw growing up. Or they do what once kept them safe — withdrawing, controlling, pleasing, numbing. RLT doesn’t pathologise that. It makes it visible. It says: this thing you keep doing is costing you connection. And then it teaches you how to do something different.
We work on skills. Boundaries that aren’t walls. Assertiveness that doesn’t turn into attack. Listening that isn’t just waiting for your turn to speak. Repair that’s more than “I’m sorry.” But before any of that, we go to the root. The story. The pattern. The part of you that still thinks love has to be earned, or fought for, or feared. Because until that part is seen and soothed, no amount of technique will help.
RLT in Switzerland: not for the faint-hearted, but for the real-hearted
In my practice — available online and in person across Switzerland — I work with couples and individuals from all over the world. Many are high-functioning, smart, successful — and in one way or another somewhat disconnected from themselves or their partners. Some couples are on the edge of breaking up. Others broke up years ago and stayed. What they have in common is this: they’re tired of the cycle. And they’re ready to face what’s actually going on. If you, as a man, feel you struggle to connect, I can also work with you individually.
Switzerland is a place where appearances often win over depth. RLT cuts through that. It’s direct. It’s confrontational when it needs to be. And it’s deeply committed to helping people reconnect — not through endless talking, but through truth-telling, emotional courage, and practical shifts.
For those who want to go there
Relational Life Therapy isn’t for everyone. If you want a therapist who just listens and nods, I’m not your guy. If you want to stay in your comfort zone, RLT will challenge you. But if you’re ready to get honest — about your part, your pain, your power — and want to build a relationship that actually works, then we’ve got something to work with.
Because love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a practice. A way of showing up. And if what you’ve been doing isn’t working — maybe it’s time to do something different.
