What happens in a first session?
Not sure what to expect? Here’s what usually happens — and what doesn’t.
Walking into a first session can bring up all sorts of thoughts. Do I need to prepare? Should I explain myself properly? What if I cry? What if I don’t?
Let’s slow that down. A first session is not a test. Not a performance. Not something you can ace or fail. You don’t need to bring polished stories or tidy answers. You just need to show up as you are.
We begin where you are
Most people arrive with something that’s weighing on them. A pattern that keeps repeating. A relationship that’s straining. An internal pressure that won’t let up. Or sometimes, just a wordless sense that something’s off.
That’s more than enough. We don’t need your full life history. You’re not expected to present a perfect narrative. If you ramble, pause, jump around — that’s part of the process. If you go silent, that’s welcome too.
My job is to listen, not interrogate. To make sure the space feels safe enough for you to land — without having to prove or defend anything.
For some, that pressure or repeating pattern might carry the texture of depression or anxiety. For others, it might be more relational — about how seen or heard they feel. Either way, you’re not alone in this.
The shape of the session
We’ll usually start with a brief check-in: what brings you here, and what feels most pressing today. From there, we’ll let the conversation unfold naturally. I might ask questions to understand more — about your relationships, your sense of self, your day-to-day experience — but always in service of clarity, not curiosity.
If something feels too tender, you don’t have to go there right away. We move at your pace. There’s no rush to go deep or “get it all out.”
If you’re coming as a couple, the flow is similar — though we’ll likely explore each of your perspectives, what’s felt stuck or painful between you, and how communication tends to unfold. Again, it’s not about blame or diagnosis. It’s about starting to see the shape of what’s happening — and what might shift. If things between you have been stuck in cycles, you might want to read more about breaking the pattern.
What you can prepare
Nothing is required. That said, you’re welcome to reflect beforehand on:
- What’s been feeling heavy or confusing lately?
- What’s made you consider reaching out now, and not six months ago?
- What kind of support would feel useful — or even just bearable — right now?
You don’t need to write anything down or get it right. These are prompts, not homework. They’re for you — not for me.
What you can’t prepare
How you’ll feel in the room. What memories or emotions might surface. What you might say without expecting to.
That’s part of the work. We’re not just talking about your life — we’re entering into it. Sometimes awkwardly, sometimes raw, sometimes with a surprising sense of relief.
If you’re used to holding it all together, this might feel unfamiliar. If you’re used to caretaking others, being asked about you might feel disorienting. That’s okay. You don’t have to have a good answer to “How are you, really?” — just a real one. There’s a quiet power in being seen without having to perform
After the session
Some people leave feeling lighter. Others feel stirred up, unsure, or tired. All of that is normal. You might want to go for a walk, jot down some thoughts, or just rest.
We’ll usually check in at the end: How was this? Did anything stand out? Would you like to continue?
There’s no pressure to decide on the spot. Take the time you need.
A first session isn’t about impressing or justifying. It’s about beginning. Stepping out of the usual loops. Letting something real be spoken — maybe for the first time. That beginning can feel small. But there’s something quietly radical about it.
And if you’re not sure how to even start feeling, let alone speaking — you might find comfort in learning to befriend your feelings.
Whatever shape that takes, I’ll meet you there.
You might also like:
What happens during counselling — A deeper look at how therapy unfolds over time — beyond the first step.
The magic of counselling — What makes this work different from advice, venting, or problem-solving?
Befriending your feelings — Especially if you’re not used to letting your emotions speak — or even noticing them.
Being seen, being heard, being witnessed — On the quiet relief of being met, without fixing or judging.
How to live free from shame — For those carrying stories that were never safe to tell — and are ready to look again.
